11.21.08
We Can Slowly Change the Way We Think
I was recently reading in the book, “Spiritual Therapy” by M. Jim Shelton, L.C.S.W. about cognitive therapy developed primarily by Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck in the 1960s. Cognitive therapy recognizes free agency or free will along with the concept that our feelings and emotions are triggered by thoughts.
Albert Ellis says when there is an emotional upset, there is first an activating event which is followed by an emotional consequence. Behavorial therapists agree with this statement. However, Albert Ellis adds another step called our Beliefs or Self-Talk. Here is an example:
I blew my diet and had two pieces of pie at the party. (Activating event)
“What’s the use? I just don’t have what it takes. I’ll always be a fat slob.” (Beliefs or self-talk)
Depression (Emotional consequence)
As you can see, it is not really the activating event or situation that triggered her feelings or emotional consequence, it was her interpretation of the event that caused her feelings. It is her self-talk that caused the depression and not the situation itself.
“Through much training and practice, a person can slowly change the way he or she thinks. The first step is increasing awareness of the way we think and then realizing this way of thinking is not set in stone. There may be a more positive and realistic way of thinking. I ask clients to change their perspective and look at the activating event or situation the same way a trusted friend would look at the situation. I also ask my clients to write down the new and improved way of thinking. I encourage them to do a “Thought Record” and diagram a healthier, positive way of thinking. ” M. Jim Shelton
The above example could be changed to the following:
I blew my diet and had two pieces of pie at the party. (Activating event)
“You splurged tonight but overall I have been doing well. I deserve a treat once in a while. Tomorrow I’ll get right back on my eating plan. (Belief or self-talk)
Some mild frustration but no depression (Emotional consequence)
After reading this, I decided I am going to keep a “Thought Record” and strive to rid myself of automatic negative thoughts.