11.04.09
Intuition
Intuition is the clear conception of the whole at once.- Johann Kaspar Lavater
10.22.09
Children
Children are our most valuable resource.- Herbert Hoover
Amen. Children are the future! I learn everyday from my six kids!
09.28.09
Gorgeous Fall Weather
This past weekend we went to our friend’s cabin, and enjoyed a weekend of perfect 72 degree weather with clear blue skies and gorgeous fall scenery. I love the fall season with all the beautiful colors and mild temperatures. I am going to savor the remaining fall days before the cold and snow of winter arrives.
09.10.09
Recording Memories
My husband and I recently read my dad’s life story. We are grateful he wrote down his memories for our family to enjoy and learn from. It is the most precious and treasured gift he could have given his posterity.
“We do not remember days, we remember moments. The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten.”- Cesare Pavese
09.04.09
Adrenaline Rush Felt from Meaningful Service
Most of us are willingly to serve our children, but are we remembering to encourage them to do nice things for other people. Our youth seem to be self-absorbed with a long list of personal pursuits, but still seem dissatisfied and floundering for something more. I think the “something more” they are looking for is the “adrenaline rush” felt when giving meaningful service to those in need.
12.04.08
Spot Painting
Cleaning Tip: I discovered a few years ago that it is handy to save partial buckets of paint so when the walls get scuffed and banged, it is convenient and easy to grab the matching bucket of paint and quickly fix the problem. Lots easier than repairing wallpaper.
11.24.08
Teaching my Son Responsibility
A few weeks ago, I bought my son new Sunday pants and shoes. That evening I walked into his room and his brand new Sunday pants were on the floor. I picked them up and told them I was going to take them back to the store unless he paid me the money for them. He told no way that he was saving his money for a computer. I said, “Okay”, I’ll take them back to the store. He responded, “Fine with me, I won’t go to church if I don’t have church clothes” but I told him it wouldn’t be a problem for me to find some clean, used clothes at a second hand store. He said, “That’s cool, I look good in anything.” I was surprised at his response. If he doesn’t care about wearing nice clothes to church, neither do I.
With my older children, I consistently made sure that they had jobs outside and in the home. They received compensation by filling out a home chore chart, or payment from their employer. I quickly learned when they spend their own hard earned money, they take care of their stuff, and more carefully consider each desired purchase. This incident with my son was a wake up call that I need to recommit my energy to teaching my younger children to work hard, and be responsible.
11.21.08
We Can Slowly Change the Way We Think
I was recently reading in the book, “Spiritual Therapy” by M. Jim Shelton, L.C.S.W. about cognitive therapy developed primarily by Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck in the 1960s. Cognitive therapy recognizes free agency or free will along with the concept that our feelings and emotions are triggered by thoughts.
Albert Ellis says when there is an emotional upset, there is first an activating event which is followed by an emotional consequence. Behavorial therapists agree with this statement. However, Albert Ellis adds another step called our Beliefs or Self-Talk. Here is an example:
I blew my diet and had two pieces of pie at the party. (Activating event)
“What’s the use? I just don’t have what it takes. I’ll always be a fat slob.” (Beliefs or self-talk)
Depression (Emotional consequence)
As you can see, it is not really the activating event or situation that triggered her feelings or emotional consequence, it was her interpretation of the event that caused her feelings. It is her self-talk that caused the depression and not the situation itself.
“Through much training and practice, a person can slowly change the way he or she thinks. The first step is increasing awareness of the way we think and then realizing this way of thinking is not set in stone. There may be a more positive and realistic way of thinking. I ask clients to change their perspective and look at the activating event or situation the same way a trusted friend would look at the situation. I also ask my clients to write down the new and improved way of thinking. I encourage them to do a “Thought Record” and diagram a healthier, positive way of thinking. ” M. Jim Shelton
The above example could be changed to the following:
I blew my diet and had two pieces of pie at the party. (Activating event)
“You splurged tonight but overall I have been doing well. I deserve a treat once in a while. Tomorrow I’ll get right back on my eating plan. (Belief or self-talk)
Some mild frustration but no depression (Emotional consequence)
After reading this, I decided I am going to keep a “Thought Record” and strive to rid myself of automatic negative thoughts.
03.01.08
Be Kinder than is Necessary
In church a couple of weeks ago, my neighbor shared a quote that I would like to share with all my readers:
“Be kinder than is necessary because almost everyone you meet is fighting some sort of a battle.” -Unknown